Secret Menu
Shhh... these items aren't on the regular menu because they're either too dangerous or too weird (often both).
The Absolute Unit
A 10-scoop tower of pain. Comes with a free wheelchair ride home.
$29.99 (+ medical waiver)
Liquid Nitrogen Surprise
We literally dip your ice cream in liquid nitrogen. What could go wrong?
$15.99 (per finger lost)
How to Order Secret Items
Approach the counter, wink three times, and say "The penguin wears a tuxedo at midnight."
(This may or may not summon our manager who may or may not be a real penguin)